January 2012
4 tags
Dear Anon,
Apparently Larry is going to try and cram as many people in to his apartment as possible.
And apparently Wright is forcing me to go so he and Maya have a ride.
With Larry in charge I can only imagine the people he will attempt to get me to kiss but with any luck I can sneak away before midnight.
(Sigh, so much for catching up on work…)
-Miles Edgeworth
4 tags
Dear budowskiandqueen,
Larry Butz, party animal extraordinaire, at your service!
I’m invitin’ everybody! Nick, Edgey, Maya, Franzy, that trench coat guy, you name it!
There’s no way it’s gonna be a repeat of Christmas!
-Larry Butz
3 tags
Dear Anonymous,
Consider yourself hounded:
-The Mod
P.S. If he needs help does he use a Team Hairial Combo?
3 tags
What this guy said
I’m going to stuff the queue full of New Year letters then go spend my New Year’s Eve/birthday not doing things. I love not doing things.
Have a happy 2012, everyone!
-The Mod
3 tags
Dear M,
What!?
Never!
We look absolutely nothing alike! Clearly you need me to whip your vision straight!
-Franziska von Karma
December 2011
4 tags
Dear Jacqui,
…
Why am I not surprised Klavier doesn’t mind in the slightest?
-Apollo Justice
3 tags
Dear liamnaruto,
Wish I could.
You don’t murder an Interpol agent and get off by doing community service.
-Cammy Meele
3 tags
Dear G,
I did study core learning, but you’re correct in assuming my knowledge was heavily grounded in law.
Math, science, literature, languages; they were mostly used to support the foundation of my legal studies. I have grown in them slightly since then, being an avid reader, but I would never consider them my forte.
-Miles Edgeworth
3 tags
Dear Curious Person,
Why I was such a vision of beauty when I was younger.
How could I not take my pick from the gentlemen lining up to court me? That’s all in the past though, dearie; rest his soul.
-Wendy Oldbag
3 tags
Dear Josh,
Unexpectedly rewarding.
I had my apprehensions at first. I knew him as a hopeless sap with possibly the worst reason to become a lawyer I had ever heard. His persistence paid off and eventually I agreed to mentor him assuming he would give up after he saw the work involved.
He never did and he never has. As I got to know him I learned what a good heart he has and that there...
3 tags
Dear Anonymous,
I don’t even remember hearing about that.
He sounds like a dangerous individual. I hope they caught him again.
(How do you manage to steal a gun from a detective? I should ask Gumshoe; sounds like a problem he might have…)
-Phoenix Wright
3 tags
Dear Anonymous,
Hey, thanks, pal! I think you’re amazing too!
Being a detective is great but it’s really hard; so hard you start seeing every day events as tests for your detectivizing.
Like just the other day this guy tapped me on the shoulder and when I turned around he was on the other side! Got me good! I found him though! I always get my man!
It started out pretty...
3 tags
Dear cepvep,
I can’t play piano and I’d never play poker professionally. Gambling’s illegal in this city.
Really I don’t have any other talents besides being a lawyer. I think I’ll stick with this.
-Phoenix Wright
3 tags
Dear Kurain Heirloom Magatama,
Aren’t you that keychain or whatever Mr. Wright’s always carrying around?
Uh, I guess I should ask what it is you’re supposed to do besides let off a weird glow… and how are you even writing a letter?
-Apollo Justice
3 tags
Dear Josh Sibley,
Another request for lessons?
I will only have one pupil at a time. Perfect training requires perfect attentiveness and one on one tutelage. Once Adrian Andrews can crack a fly out of the air with perfect precision, then I will consider other students.
-Franziska von Karma
3 tags
Dear chicken-in-a-basket,
After me, you say?
I suppose I am. Raise him well and teach him to always speak the truth.
-Miles Edgeworth
3 tags
Dear Ms. Myers,
Um, an odd request, but why not?
A female touch might be just what that stick needs to get out of the mud.
(Then again, considering his office, his touch might be feminine enough…)
And, uh, I don’t think you have to worry about any blue beanies. I don’t look very good in hats.
-Phoenix Wright
3 tags
Dear Kris,
Those two… related? I’ve heard of brothers and sisters being opposites, but sheesh.
Although the way I understand it, men aren’t forced out of Kurain so much as they leave on their own accord due to their lack of influence.
Your theory involves Gregory Edgeworth abandoning Misty Fey shortly before he dies and she channels him, being shamed and abandoning her...
4 tags
Dear Kris,
I didn’t.
Sis said he was nice but… even she barely knew him. I never even knew mom, now that I think about it.
Mia was my whole family wrapped up in to one, at least until I met Nick.
-Maya Fey
3 tags
Dear Kris,
No.
Father seemed disinclined to speak of her, as if the parting was unpleasant. I don’t know if it was because of death, disagreements, or something else entirely.
It’s too late to ask him now, though I suppose I could investigate on my own. Perhaps I will when I have time, but the present requires my attention more than the past.
-Miles Edgeworth
3 tags
Dear Mayra,
A liar in speech is a liar in actions.
Even invisibility couldn’t hide that fake tan. Though if you must know, our paper tiger had a grey tint to him.
-Godot
3 tags
Dear Ms. Teneiro,
It is nice to hear from you again.
Think nothing of it. I was only doing my duty to ensure we had the proper culprit. I hope your days have been trouble free since then.
And… I would love a sample of your… “unique” designs…
(Chivalry, what have you done to me!?)
-Miles Edgeworth
4 tags
Dear desu,
s(^.^)-b
-The Mod
4 tags
Dear Sixela,
Burgundy is a French wine, named for its region. While there is a white variant, it is primarily known as a red wine.
Ergo, there is no contradiction.
-Miles Edgeworth
(Original letter)
3 tags
Dear Fan who misses Edgeworth,
Slow down a little there. I’m getting too old for all these questions at once.
Edgeworth is still practicing and is as rich and famous as ever.
But married? That’s cute. It’s like that glare of his just passes straight through all the women flocking around him and he doesn’t even notice.
Or maybe he’s been secretly married...
4 tags
Dear Lozzy,
I wouldn’t say “friends,” per say.
Deadpool seems just as likely to shank me in the kidney as he is shake my hand and Joe keeps telling me my “superhero outfit” is all wrong.
On the other hand it was nice to talk shop with Ms. Walters. Frank was alright too. He told me how nice it was to have another ordinary guy around… and then he...
2 tags
Dear ingthing,
Consider it done.
Hey, you there, click on this link: http://turnabout-facebook.deviantart.com/
-The Mod
3 tags
Dear zukora,
I won’t pass up a free hug, but you’ve got it all wrong!
Nick is my sidekick!
-Maya Fey
3 tags
Dear Victoria,
She did sort of help Mystic Maya… but she was so mean to her.
I’ll only forgive her on the condition that she apologizes first!
-Pearl Fey
3 tags
Dear Spectre,
We have been known to have a drink or dinner.
Considering it’s usually after trials and both Franziska and Maya are underage, it’s usually the latter. Although you’re probably wondering about just Wright and myself.
I’m not an outgoing enough person to instigate anything but Wright will occasionally call me up to “just hang out.” At some...
3 tags
Dear Mochi,
Mystic Maya is the Master of the Kurain Channeling Technique and I’m just from the branch family.
You can’t have more than one Master and I would never take away her title!
So of course I want her and Mr. Nick to be a happy, lovey couple! They can lead Kurain together and Mr. Nick won’t ever abandon her like other men in the village! It’s going to be...
3 tags
Dear amekuudere,
We have our occasional differences and he seems to think he’s a lot funnier than he actually is but I can’t speak out against him.
He keeps this office running professionally with a relaxed atmosphere and I have yet to succumb to the tidal wave of “female masses” thanks to his countermeasures.
All in all, things could be a lot worse.
-Miles...
3 tags
Dear Mayra,
It’s brandy, dude.
But if you’ve got something against chocolate milk, it is on.
-Matt Engarde
2 tags
Dear Reina,
Now here’s a question I’m scared to answer.
I’ll tell you this much, though. I have inadvertently found myself running a blog where I RP video game characters. That’s some natural contraception right there.
-The Mod
4 tags
Dear kristhegooseman,
-The Mod
3 tags
Dear Victoria,
What art!?
All I see is this horrid affront to my senses and to my very soul!
-Miles Edgeworth
3 tags
Dear Jacqui,
Um, thanks.
You can just leave it in the sky where everyone can use it.
-Apollo Justice
3 tags
Dear eemolovee,
Why don’t you ask him and see what he would say?
Oh, he started simple enough. He denied me my fame by stealing away Shadi Enigmar. Afterwards he wormed his way in under the false pretense of friendship only to turn both my protege and my brother against me.
That still wasn’t enough for him. He robbed my cell in an illegal search. He defaced our legal...
2 tags
Dear Followers,
My favorite nearby burger joint closed down out of the blue. I am denied my bacon cheddar burger and I am devastated. I don’t know why I’m posting this either but I knew Maya would be sympathetic.
-The Mod
4 tags
Dear Fan,
Of course I would.
However a proper lady would not stoop to such testosterone fueled foolishness. My talents are better placed away from harm.
-Franziska von Karma
3 tags
Dear Fidelliz,
I can’t help but notice the actress you equated with Dahlia has the last name of Wright.
Man, I really dodged a bullet there…
-Phoenix Wright
3 tags
Dear Anon,
Well, when you put it that way…
B-but I’m not a wizard. Neither was Edgeworth, last I checked.
(But what if I was!? Objectidamus!)
-Phoenix Wright
3 tags
Dear keybladespirit,
The jury injected a certain perspective in to a ruling that I, as a single mediator, just cannot reproduce.
But on the other hand, the Initial Trial system makes me the lone ranger! I should have a mask and a horse!
-The Judge
3 tags
Dear Your Honor,
Um…
You can have a fry. The small one.
-Maya Fey
4 tags
Dear Thief,
1228,1228.
*squawk*
-Polly
3 tags
Dear Anonymous,
Shrink ray? I don’t need machines for magic!
I use real live magic! A shrink ray would be more Detective Skye’s thing.
-Trucy Wright
3 tags
Dear Mayra,
That would be the day I received my riding crop from Papa.
I remember fondly whipping my horse in to trot or whipping Miles for being foolish. Really not a lot has changed, though I have not been riding for a long time.
-Franziska von Karma
3 tags
Dear Mayra,
Knew a wheelman named Guido once.
He broke his kneecaps runnin’ in to a baseball bat.
-The Tiger
3 tags
Dear Anonymous,
What, you mean pushed way forward with the front dyed white?
Sometimes…
-Daryan Crescend
4 tags
Dear “Future Phoenix Wright”,
Please.
Phoenix Wright is guileless to the point of foolishness. The day someone like him attempts to cheat the courts is the day I trade in my whip for a whippet puppy.
-Franziska von Karma
(Previous letter)